Jack Grace: Notes From the 21st Century

Martin Luther King, may I mambo dogface on the banana patch?

2011-05-14T13:26:00.000-04:00

WARNING: I recently read a report that said if you use a cellphone while eating heavy proteins, you could give yourself heart palpitations.
So please, if you are going to eat something like a bacon cheeseburger, keep the cell phone at least three feet from your head until your food is properly swallowed.

I just completely made that up.
Thanks to the interweb and even blogging; we can be misinformed by anyone and the more people we can reach, the worse off we all are.

Steve Martin once joked, “Wanna have some fun? Teach your kids to talk wrong! Imagine the teacher’s dismay on the first day of school, when a child raises their hand and asks, "May I mambo dogface on the banana patch?"

Misquoting Martin Luther King on the internet to make a point about the killing of Osama Bin Laden; are an extension of what Steve Martin was joking about (or most things said on FOX NEWS, but that is for another day).

The quote that went around was:
‎"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr

It was a perfect quote for the moment for many thoughtful, sensitive Americans. I was torn between being a New Yorker; seeing personal friends lose their spouses, brothers and everything in between. I am glad he is dead, he asked for it. Yet, seeing anyone celebrate a killing in a "spike the football" fashion just feels kind of like an a%*hole move. Most of the quote is by King from "Strength to Love". That first sentence, though, is a complete fake.

There were retractions, but hey, when The NY Times screws up you hear about it.
Great things can come from sharing information. It's just too easy these days to pass around info for good or bad, that is just plainly inaccurate.
All these false quotes and my cellphone/heavy protein/heart palpitations info is out there on the internet to google and learn from ...forever.

So I ask YOU
May I mambo dogface on the banana patch?"

By the time we got to Woodstock... they fell asleep.

2011-05-13T14:39:00.001-04:00

We somewhat re-located to the Woodstock area 3 1/2 years ago. We still have a crash pad in Brooklyn is what I mean by somewhat. I love coming back from a tour with the ability to drive the van in to my driveway and walk into my house and go to sleep. Sometimes the worst part of a tour is coming home to NYC exhausted, load in gear upstairs, and THEN go find parking, anyone that has done this will agree... it sucks!

I have looked for gigs to play in the Hudson Valley area to mixed results. My favorite was playing with Junior Brown @ The Bearsville Theater. He even came back to our house for a bit after the show. Many people would think that Woodstock would have great gigs to offer, occasionally but not often. It is a town of baby boomers, rock stars and wannabe rock stars that generally don't go out to shows unless it is a band connected to the 69 festival in some way (Even Jefferson Starship sans Grace Slick does well). There are also some pure music lovers and great people here, but they can be hard to find. Woodstock apparently is 65% second homes, so a lot of folks get up here and understandably just want to enjoy their home. The most popular (and only) regular show in town is Karaoke, where it can at least be about themselves for a while.

It is a beautiful place filled with far too many people wanting to tell you about the time they smoked pot with Jimi Hendrix (it'd be great if they were actual stories, more often... that is the WHOLE story). Yes, the local bar I drop into, they still refer to me (at 43) as the young guy.

Daria (me wife) and I were lucky enough to meet some of the best friends we could ever ask for right here in town. We met Jason Bowman, one of the Jack Grace Band drummers within the first few weeks of moving here. Jason's band, Five Points Band, a family band and all involved are those friends. Magic still happens up here. It just isn't floating all over as it had in say 1966. You have to find it hiding around corners and behind very quaint closed doors.

Junior Brown Thinks Yer Dead...

2011-05-11T13:05:00.000-04:00

"Jack you gotta really be careful about putting this kinda stuff out there, I mean folks will expect you to live it"
Junior Brown on viewing "Drinking Song For Lovers" CD.

OK, It's gotten to the point where if I don't feel like drinking and I go out in public, there are folks dissapointed in me, calling me a fraud even. I felt like I was doing something different for a while. Now it feels like a drunken trajectory of mayhem sending me into a tailspin of predictable "not as fun as they used to be" scenarios. I wanted to be a person enjoying the pitfalls of life with a martini in my hand. I have enjoyed that.

I have begun working on the new CD. The subject matters are far more varied then in past releases.

Maybe I will finally take Junior Brown's advise and put something else out there:
"Cuz yer wanted by the po-lice and my wife thinks yer dead."
Hmm was it just me, I always thought that was a song about a bender Junior...
He wrote the song using second person narrative though, hmmm that's one way...

When one flies the coop...

2011-05-10T18:17:00.003-04:00

http://gawker.com/5800433/berserk-naked-racist-wig+out-marks-another-day-on-the-nyc-subways

OK so seeing this tells me a few things.
1) It's funny how no one seems threatened by the guy at all.
2) That cop is not the cop you want around if and when you are in trouble.
3) With all the pressure that a city can put on you, I'm surprised not see this more often.
4) He doesn't seem to be any good at being a racist. Is he just being shocking? We could ask a lot of questions there....
5) When I finally do this, what will I yell about? I bet it will be about food.
6) When he grabs the ladies bag, that's where he begins not to know what to do next.
7) Drugs, mental imbalance, a combo, or did some guy just finally have enough and wanted to get naked and be a racist?
8) I have awoken with a few hangovers cringing about a few things I have said. This puts those moments in perspective (At least I think so).

A "Sailing" Accident

2010-10-04T14:32:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the most interesting times with guests are the morning caffeination sessions after a spirited evening. There are stories to recount with a reasonably refreshed brain, and often a creative spirit easy enough to grab out the air. This Saturday morning seemed to have that right Autumnal morning feel. The night before, with my wife Daria on bass, Walter on trombone and Jason on drums, we played a Jack Grace Band show to college kids until some ungodly hour. Walter's spirited sister in law, Ariel, had come along for the show as well and on the ride home, Christopher Cross's song, "Sailing", had peeked it's head into some drunken debate on schmaltz.

Walter and Ariel stayed over, so whilst folks were in the kitchen the next morning, I thought I would find the song on youtube and crank it up on the stereo. This inspired my thespian roots to clear an area and perform an interpretive dance to the number, expressing what I believed to be Cross's and the song's producers innermost feelings via high kicks, twists and swirls.

A few minutes of this seemed plenty, but when I stopped, I was encouraged to continue, although a bit winded, I launched into part two, complete with a dance with the couch. I lifted my leg onto the couch in full throttle expression and felt something shoot through my left calf.

I wanted to keep the amusing vibe but it became clear that I had injured myself. So I stopped and we began planning a trip to pick up Walter's wife, Leslie across the Hudson from Bearsville. I realized that I now had a limp and could not really walk right. Daria, Walter and Ariel realized that I had officially injured myself dancing to Christopher Cross, and this seemed to at least triple everyone's amusement at the situation.

We picked up Leslie at the train and headed to a few gatherings in Tivoli, NY. Folks asked me why I was limping, my wife suggested I tell them it was a "Sailing" accident. This worked except it became clear that the full real story would come out each time because we all laughed when the "Sailing" accident was mentioned. Ariel and Walter took pity and found me a stick to use for a cane. I named it Michael and we had a few drinks and headed back to the house with Michael Cane.

We invited The Bowmans over to join us for a bonfire, Jason (on drums from last night) his wife Acacia and son Mackie. They saw my limp, and when told the story, (being true rock n roll purists ) replied, "it serves you right". Now, Jason hates Billy Joel more than anything, Ole BJ is truly his kryptonite. So I occasionally will start a Billy Joel song on the bandstand without him knowing what I am doing, just to piss him off, his annoyance makes me laugh. But it is a real anger that if pushed too far, would definitely lead to Jason walking off stage. Let's just say Jason finds this Yacht Rock justice at its best.

Fortunately for me, two days later I seem to be back to walking reasonably well. I've learned my lesson.
...I will stretch next time.

Blog- could it be a lame word?

2010-09-30T18:44:00.001-04:00

(a picture I drew of my wife getting angry, when we first met)

The blog... A notebook feels creative where I write songs, stories, poems, a computer feels like a place I promote my shows and book the clubs I somehow got involved in. Well, I have a nice stack of say forty notebooks, the others my dad threw out when "cleaning" the basement.

Perhaps it's just the word blog that has kept me away.
I think I have been mis- marketed to. Also you can't spill steak sauce or coffee on a blog and that is something I have always done to mark my creative territory.

As of now, I don't really read any blogs regularly, perhaps writing one could change that.
The pitfalls of rhyming blog:
Now I started my own blog,
May the thoughts flow free and never clog,
Is it a Prince or just a frog,
I'd hate to get stuck in this bog,
or get killed by a balrog,
I fear I'm lost out in the fog,

Clearly the word does not have upbeat friends in the rhyming dept. Dog technically rhymes, but is more a dawg sounding word.

OK I think I have properly worn out all I my thoughts on this dang word, just my Brady Bunch style of making things straight before I start, when Alice left for an episode and the new housekeeper Kay came in, the kids would say things like , "Alice used to play basketball with us", she would reply, "that was Alice, I'm Kay".

That actually has nothing to do with me and Blog, but hey I'm trying my best.

Leave you alone ? But why? It's free to bug the shit out of you.

2009-11-18T11:40:00.000-05:00

A shot of Jack Grace Band member Bruce Martin ironically on a computer, he is a practicing luddite sans cellphone and can be tough to find at times and he likes it that way.

OK, the time has come for all of this over information to back off for us all. It really is an epidemic.
For example: Let's say a friend has their first show, they post it on their website, myspace, facebook, twitter. Then, some folks like to send as many as 3 reminders about this event to your email, maybe they have more than one email for you so to be safe they send it to all three emails they have for you. So you hear about this 15 times!

I'm 41 and have been playing live shows for twenty years. In those early days you sent out a mailer. The mailer was sent after someone signed your mailing list or you knew them well enough so that you knew their address and each person you sent this mailer to required another stamp and another postcard mailer. So, you would NOT just send these folks 15 different notices about your quaint little show if you planned to make a profit. They would get the mailer and if they cared, they would put it on the fridge to remember, if they didn't they would glance at it and toss it in the trash. My old band Steak also had a hotline (voicemail) so if YOU wanted to know when we were playing you could call and find out.

My point is, it used to take time and even money to notify folks. I sure don't miss making those handbills and putting stamps on all of them (or paying for it!), but we all get over informed about events- even ones we have no intention of attending.
Maybe you never want to see my band, I don't want you there if you don't want to be. It is important to me as a human that you then don't get tons of web nagging by me.

I used to send an email to my list at least once a week (a list that folks signed to be on). Back in a time when I was less busy, I used to spend A LOT of time making those emails creative and fun to read so that folks would open them even if they couldn't make my show. I decided this was my chance to communicate with my entire fanbase at once so I might as well make it count.
After a while, there were some people who signed my mailing list who had never seen my band or heard my music, rather been forwarded my emails and just liked getting them.

In the past ten years after that initial email strategy, we have all been basically become subject to too many goddamn notices about anything and everything- web nagging!

So I hope to start this blog as a way to continue without pestering.
I still have to promote my shows, releases etc. But I have backed off on the frequency of notices. I figure if you want to come see me or know what is going on, you can always check my websites, blog or hell just google me.

Perhaps our backlash can come in the form of sending emails to everyone about things we don't care about or want to see over and over, oh wait that already kinda happens anyway... hmmm.

Dogs find blogs odorless and unappealing.
Jack Grace

Things To Be Happy About

2009-04-09T00:31:00.000-04:00

From the Archives: October 19, 2001

Hey, this isn't the greatest of times, but there are still things to be happy about:

1. They are not making new episodes of "Who's The Boss".
2. Willie Nelson.
3. Bacon.
4. The sun is still fully operational.
5. There is plenty of gum to go around.
6. Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger and David Bowie are at the Garden tomorrow.
7. Martinis still taste good.
8. You are not required by law to see Nicholas Cage in Capt. Corelli's Mandolin.
9. Your email still works (apparently).

If things get worse, we can always build a big spaceship, have William Shatner return to his post as Capt. Kirk and travel on a five year mission (where no man has gone before).

See YOU at the racetrack,

Jack Grace

Advice For All Ages

2009-04-07T22:56:00.000-04:00

From the Archives: January 21, 2000

A special note to fans in their thirties: Some of you are starting to act like old people. Stop it now while you have the chance. Go out tonight, misbehave and don't worry about it. Everything will still be fine. If you are wondering if this is directed at you, that probably means it is. If you are in your thirties, and you know this is not directed at you, then maybe you should take it easy a bit.

A special note to fans in their twenties: Go to the show tonight (like everybody else). Don't wear baseball hats backwards and listen to Dave Matthews even if everybody is doing it.

To fans in their teens: Get a good fake I.D. and come to the show. All your friends are.

To fans forty and above: You know better than to listen to me.

And to the ones not quite in their teens: We didn't forget about you. But how did you get on this list? Do your parents know that you associate with strange people like ourselves?

Thank You for Your Support,

Jack Grace

"If You're Gonna Raise A Drunk"

2009-02-09T20:19:00.000-05:00

Below are the lyrics to the newly posted song, "If You're Gonna Raise A Drunk".
John Sebastian (Lovin' Spoonful) played rhythm guitar on this track. When he came out of recording his part, he said, "you've got a hit record there".
Well that would be nice, what the hell is a hit record these days anyway? I think it means the new Blackberry uses it for their latest annoying add, so some folks say, hey, who is that, google the song and download it from limewire.
There is not as much sex and cocaine in that equation as the hit song in the seventies equation had, which one sounds more fun?

I wasn't going to record or play this song originally, I thought it was too corny and sounded like a Jimmy Buffett song. My wife and bass player Daria Grace, said, "oh you have to do that one", "that's the hit". Well apparently, Sebastian thought so too.
Recently, we were playing @ Barbes in Brooklyn to a warm entusiastic crowd. We finished the show and I headed to the bar, a fella walked up to me and said, "hey, great show, I loved that Jimmy Buffett cover you did, what was that song called again?"
Friends, that may have made some say, oh to hell with that song! but I decided instead to embrace it, and take the ride (if any) however strange down that road to margaritaville and have a drink or two, let's see if anybody is left at the bar down there. They may all be partying on Facebook in this new fangled century.

Computerly yours,
Jack

IF YOU'RE GONNA RAISE A DRUNK

Oh yeah it's a real hard job; a real hard job
Cause if you're gonna raise a drunk you might as well do it right
Teach him how to laugh and to always be polite
Make people smile and have a beautiful night
Cause if you're gonna raise a drunk
You might as well do it right

Teach him how to get home quiet, take off his shoes
Know when to shut his mouth so he don't look like a fool
Oh yeah it's a real hard job, a real hard job

And when the summer comes I like that beer by my side
Just to keep things moving along
A couple of mai tais and a Pu Pu Platter
At that place with the dragon in front
I like that frozen margarita while fightin' with the mariachi band
Somewhere in San Francisco

Teach him how to get home quiet, take off his shoes
Know when to shut his mouth so he don't look like a fool
Oh yeah it's a real hard job, a real hard job

And when the summer comes I like that beer by my side
Just to keep things moving along
A couple of mai tais and a Pu Pu Platter
At that place with the dragon in front
I like that frozen margarita while dancin' with the mariachi band
Somewhere in San Francisco

Cause if you're gonna raise a drunk you might as well do it right
Teach him how to laugh and to always be polite
Make people smile and have a beautiful night
If you're gonna raise a drunk
You might as well do it right

Oh yeah it's a real hard job; a real hard job
Oh yeah it's a real hard job
Oh yeah it's a real real real real real hard job