Things To Be Happy About

From the Archives: October 19, 2001

Hey, this isn't the greatest of times, but there are still things to be happy about:

1. They are not making new episodes of "Who's The Boss".
2. Willie Nelson.
3. Bacon.
4. The sun is still fully operational.
5. There is plenty of gum to go around.
6. Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger and David Bowie are at the Garden tomorrow.
7. Martinis still taste good.
8. You are not required by law to see Nicholas Cage in Capt. Corelli's Mandolin.
9. Your email still works (apparently).

If things get worse, we can always build a big spaceship, have William Shatner return to his post as Capt. Kirk and travel on a five year mission (where no man has gone before).

See YOU at the racetrack,


Jack Grace

Advice For All Ages

From the Archives: January 21, 2000

A special note to fans in their thirties: Some of you are starting to act like old people. Stop it now while you have the chance. Go out tonight, misbehave and don't worry about it. Everything will still be fine. If you are wondering if this is directed at you, that probably means it is. If you are in your thirties, and you know this is not directed at you, then maybe you should take it easy a bit.

A special note to fans in their twenties: Go to the show tonight (like everybody else). Don't wear baseball hats backwards and listen to Dave Matthews even if everybody is doing it.

To fans in their teens: Get a good fake I.D. and come to the show. All your friends are.

To fans forty and above: You know better than to listen to me.

And to the ones not quite in their teens: We didn't forget about you. But how did you get on this list? Do your parents know that you associate with strange people like ourselves?

Thank You for Your Support,

Jack Grace